Knowing the plethora of information that can be found on the internet via Google, for example, I googled my name on same but only came up with a Robert S. Minch, a dentist back on the east coast. This was a disappointing and obviously a cursory and incomplete response. I should sue someone for this slight. However, it is possible the Red Bluff Daily News is not widely read nor nationally circulated.
For example, if one were to read the sophisticated and erudite George Will’s syndicated column it is unlikely he would add a postscript to his latest effort i.e. “…of course columnist R. Minch may differ, but his take on the matter is just an opinion, as is mine, for that matter.”
So, I shall bask in obscurity and be content to be a small ripple in a small pond.
…
Due to the Public Safety Power Shutoff, the following comes from I Say originally published Aug. 26, 2016:
The Daily News reports there is work in progress to clean up the old “fire dump” located on the corner of Walbridge and Baker Road.
In my day it was just “the dump,” not the fire dump. It was situated in those days on the west edge of our fair city and we went there to dispose of our unwanted trash.
There were professional garbage collectors that also used this site. One such was Fred Foley, and he was a poet. In the classified section of the Daily News could be found his poems which were invariably related to his work. They were his personal advertisements in the sense that he thanked city folks for the privilege of collecting their garbage, which may have encouraged them to remember Fred at Christmas time.
I wish I could remember some of his rhyming couplets. As I recall they were quite good. Maybe the archives of our Tehama County Library could help me out on this. If so I would lay off discussing the costs of renovation of the former Daily News building on Diamond for the library.
Speaking of the dump in my day, it was crisscrossed with dirt roads running through it for the convenience of those wanting to unload their pickups and trailers, and over time they eroded into a series of roller coaster rides.
Therefore, late at night, with little else to do in our small town, we might convince a car owner to let us pile in and experience a rough ride through the dump.
It may have been hard on their car’s suspension system, but no one complained. Of course it didn’t take much to amuse us in those days.
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We are sad to see Norm and Beverly Pierro retire from the printing business. As I recall we participated in the sale of the business many years ago when it was called “Sir Speedy” and operated by Hank Denherder. At that time, their competition was Omar Keene and Hornbeck’s, but only Norm and Beverly survived.
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We speak of folks losing their hair from time to time, but I think a report in this paper of a “bald man yelling at passing traffic at 8 a.m. last Thursday” was over the top. I mean, state his name or perhaps his dress, but his lack of hair is his business. Maybe that’s what he was yelling about.
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CBS News’ Sopan Deb: “For the 1st time — in prepared remarks, Trump expressed regret for some of his campaign conduct.” And the Washington Examiner‘s Byron York wrote, “That was new Trump. Very new Trump.”
However, the New Yorker states, “The truth, of course, is that there is no ‘new Trump.’ But the old one can read the polls, and he knows that he’s on a path toward a heavy and ignominious defeat. That’s why he effectively fired his campaign manager, Paul Manafort, and brought in a new team. That’s why he’s belatedly reaching out to the black community, where, according to one survey, he’s polling at one percent. And that’s why he’s making a renewed attempt to mimic Richard Nixon and position himself as the voice of forgotten Americans.” There is apparently no end to the clueless Trump’s remarks.
•••
Are you ready for some football?
“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football” — John Heisman
“When you win, nothing hurts” — Joe Namath, Alabama
“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall” — Frank Leahy, Notre Dame
“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant” — Wally Butts, Georgia
“My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor” — Bowden Wyatt, Tennessee
“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me. He said, ‘Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.’” — Walt Garrison, Oklahoma State
“Football is not a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport” — Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State
“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players” — Knute Rockne, Notre Dame
Ohio State’s Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise.”
How can you tell if a Kentucky football player has a girlfriend? There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
•••
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “fried chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny, but my parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, but told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was and I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office.
He laughed, but told me not to do it again.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most. I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”
Guess where the heck I am now.
Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the “The Knocking Pen.” He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.